No, this lounge chair is free, go right ahead.  Me?  I’m just here for a little R&R, some pampering you, know?  And Sun City seemed like a happy sounding place. Okay, well if you must know, I’m just coming off a bad breakup and I just wanted to relax, plus all you South Africans have such cute accents!  Oh, my bad, I just assumed…Liberia? No never heard of it- geography isn’t my thing. I majored in communications. Why are you laughing? Why does everyone laugh at that? No way! Get out of town, you went to Bentley! The one in Waltham, Mass?  My brother went there- no lie!  Seriously- Flex the Falcon and all that.  It’s really a small world, sorry, what’s your name again?  It’s really a small world, Chuck.  Wait, Chuck Taylor, like the shoe?  I love those shoes!  Hey kids, watch out!! Those kids canon-balling into the pool just got water all over my bag!  My new Sookie Stackhouse book is drenched…um WOW, is that a gun, no seriously, it’s not that big a deal, you don’t need to shoot them, just…Oh they’re with you? Are they all your kids?  Child soliders?  Hmm, no I don’t have any child soldiers myself, I’m not sure I understa…OH MY GOD what are they doing? Are they snorting COCAINE?!!!  You gave it to them!  Well, I mean sure, that’s your call, different customs and all I guess.  Um, I think those gentlemen with the assault rifles, they’re your what? Okay well your bodyguards are trying to get your attention. Oh, it’s cool, I understand you have business to attend to- I mean you must sell a lot of shoes.  Okay, yeah sure we could get a drink later, I…what? That’s totally random, but sure I know Mia Farrow. Nooooo I don’t know where she is right now. I don’t know her personally, if that’s what you mean.  Yes I’m sure!  Oh well i don’t know if I’d call her that. I don’t know what she’s like as a person but I liked Purple Rose of Cairo well enough, I thought that…oh right, yes go ahead, see you later.  What’s this?  A present, I couldn’t take…um okay.  Bye I guess. Weird.

Yoo hoo!  Could I get another pina colo…hey are you okay?  Why are you shaking?  Yeah that was him, the shoe guy.  I guess you can borrow my cell phone, the number for the Hague? No, pretty sure it’s not in my contacts list.  A war criminal? No you must be mistaken, he sells shoes.  Good Lord, is that true?  How awful! Well he did seem a little off- he threw a bag of dirty rocks at me, see?  They’re what?!!!!! I think you mean “bloody amazing” diamonds!

I can change him.